Divorce to Destiny: Reclaiming My CEO Husband

(Lisa)

The sound of kids laughing and fighting all at once is a special kind of chaos. Not loud enough to make me need earplugs but constant enough to make me question why anyone willingly signs up for this parenting gig. I'm sitting at the farmhouse kitchen table, nursing a mug of herbal tea because Winona says it's for relaxation, apparently-while Winona navigates the madness with calm efficiency.

Tastes like I'm drinking fresh-cut grass. Eww.

"Sarah, put the scissors down before someone loses an eyebrow!" Winona shouts from the stove, where she's flipping breakfast pancakes with one hand and holding Henry on her hip with the other.

Jayden strolls in, looking half-asleep but still managing to make kissing her cheek seem like the most romantic move in the world. He grabs Henry and tosses him in the air, making the toddler squeal with laughter. "Morning," Jayden says to me, his voice a deep rumble that doesn't match the little boy giggling in his arms. "You sleep okay?"

"Like the dead," I lie, forcing a grin.

In reality, I didn't sleep at all. Turns out, pregnancy insomnia is a thing. Combine that with the little voice in my head screaming, what the hell are you doing? and it's a miracle I'm upright.

Winona glances over her shoulder, giving me a knowing look. "You look like the dead."

"Oh, thanks for the observation." I wiggle my mug dramatically. "This tastes like the dead. Are you trying to kill me?"

She laughs. "Don't exaggerate, it's good for you."

"It's awful. I don't know how you can drink the stuff."

"It's an acquired taste."

"Nope...not today. Nor any day." I push the mug away.

Winona grins and gets busy setting a tall stack of pancakes on the table while her kids swarm like seagulls at a beach picnic.

Abbey insists on syrup for everyone, even though half of it ends up on her shirt, and Bobby and Sarah are arguing over who gets a particular strawberry they both need, despite a whole bowlful being there. It's madness. Total madness.

And it's kinda beautiful.

Which makes my stomach twist in that way it always does when I feel something I don't want to.

How the hell do they do this? How do they manage a family and careers and a love life and not completely lose their minds?

"Lisa, you want a pancake?" Winona's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"No, thanks," I say, "Not really a breakfast person."

Jayden smirks. "Unless you count the fruit in the last cocktail at 5am."

"It's been a while," I grin. There's been plenty of nights like that and then sleep all day.

Winona smiles too. "We had some times, didn't we?"

"We did. We all did. The four of us..." I trail off. Lance is gone but his baby is growing inside me.

A baby I don't want to raise. A baby I don't know how to raise. It's better off with someone else as it's Mom. I can't even tell my best friend my most life-altering news.

I'm disgusted in myself for not wanting a baby when she's broken inside from losing hers. She tries to hide it, but I know her inside out.

I can't tell her. Not now. Maybe not ever.

Can I get away with being pregnant and adopting the baby? Winona had Abbey and none of us knew. Okay, she was in a different city then and no one from here saw her, but still...I'm not good at hiding shit.

Henry throws a piece of pancake that hits Abbey and sticks to her cheek, who shrieks like she's been mortally wounded. Winona moves to intervene, but Jayden's already on it, scooping up Henry and issuing a calm but firm, "no throwing food, buddy." Bobby starts laughing at Henry's aim and Sarah is telling him it's not funny.

Jayden goes to clean up Henry's

face with a cloth, and Winona wipes the syrup from Abbey's tear-stained cheek. Then Winona proceeds to clear away the food and dishes and the girls start crafting again.

The way Jayden and Winona tag-team parenting like it's a synchronized sport makes my chest ache. Because I can't imagine doing this. Not even with a team of carers.

Not just the logistics-the diapers, the school runs, the tantrums-but the caring. The giving a shit about someone else so much that your whole life revolves around them.

That is not me. That wasn't my parents.

They loved me, sure, but not in the way Winona and Jayden love their kids. They were jet-setters, living off inherited wealth, hosting parties, traveling the world.

I grew up in luxury hotels and private

jets, the perpetual third wheel to their glamorous, carefree lifestyle. And they never hid the fact that

they

couldn't wait until I was old enough

either.

to be independent. I could

Basically, I had to be the parent. I gave up on anything ever being like a normal childhood and just started doing my own thing as soon as I could.

I don't want that for this baby. Lance's childhood was unbelievably dysfunctional. His baby deserves more. His baby should have a real family home and upbringing. But I can't give that.

"Lisa, are you okay?" Winona asks, sliding into the chair across from me.

I blink, realizing I've been staring into the tea like it holds the secrets of the universe. "Yeah. Just zoned out. Is it always like this at breakfast time?"

Her brow furrows and then she grins, "mostly, yeah."

Abbey interrupts.

"Aunt Lisa, look! I made you a crown!"

She holds up a lopsided paper crown, dripping with glue and glitter.

"Wow, that's... something," I say, studying it carefully. "You really nailed the sparkles."

Abbey beams and plops it on my head, showering me with glitter.

"You are a queen!" she declares, "I love you!"

And for a moment, I forget everything. I forget the fear, the guilt, the feeling that I'm barreling toward a future I can't handle.

Because right now, to this little girl, I'm a queen.

"Thanks, kid," I say, ruffling her hair. "I love you too."

Henry starts fussing, and Winona's back in mom mode, rocking him gently while issuing orders to the older kids to clear the table.

Jayden catches my eye as he stands, coffee mug in hand. "You be here for dinner, Lisa?"

I hesitate. Going to my apartment means dealing with how this whole Logan/Lance/baby/CEO situation makes me feel. Trying to find the best solution for me.

I can't avoid it forever.

"I think I'll head into the city," I say finally. "But I'll stay till after lunch if you guys need to go do anything."

Winona grins. "Good. You can help me deal with the glitter apocalypse Abbey's left in her wake."

"Great," I deadpan. "Glitter and glue. Living the dream."

As they bustle around me, I sit back, the crown still perched on my head.

I don't know how I'm going to do this-be a mom, face Logan, run a charity.noveldrama

I'm not. I can't.

But for now, I'll wear the damn crown and pretend I've got it all together. Because that's what queens do, right?