You, Me, and Forever (Blushing)

I’d just taken a bath and slipped into my robe with my hair tied in a knot on top of my head when the knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts. It was late, and the sun was going down earlier and earlier these days. I looked through the peephole and was surprised to see Myles there.

I hadn’t talked to him in a few days, and part of me thought it was probably for the best. He was leaving soon, and to say that I’d grown attached was an understatement.

I hated sleeping alone now. I hadn’t minded having my bed to myself when I was dating Phillip. I actually looked forward to the nights we didn’t spend together. It gave me time to read and watch the shows I liked.

But I crave Myles in a way I’ve never experienced.

Even if he’d acted like a pompous ass and completely diminished what I did for a living.

I pulled the door open. He stood there in a pair of dark jeans and a black sweater. He smiled when my eyes locked with his, and that little dimple on his cheek was showing.

That’s when I knew the smile was genuine.

“Hey, Honey Badger,” he said as he held a large square object, wrapped in brown paper, in his hand. “I have something for you.”

“It’s going to take more than a gift to get me to speak to you again,” I said.

“I know. But the gift comes with an explanation.”

I stepped back and motioned for him to come inside, and he moved across the room to sit on the couch. My place was much smaller than his rental house, but it was cozy and charming, and I loved it. I’d worked hard to buy my first home, and I’d hired Charlie to help me make it everything I wanted it to be.

The original wood floors creaked as I made my way over to the couch beside him.

“I shouldn’t have said what I said to you.”

“Agreed.”

“I may not believe in that whole ‘happily ever after’ bullshit—er, fairy tale,” he corrected himself. “But that doesn’t mean that I should diminish what you believe in. Hell, one of the things I admire most about you is your ability to see the positive in everything. It’s why your business is so successful.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“I understand you have an issue with the contract.”

“I do. It’s too much. And I know you were coming from a good place, Myles, but the payment plan was offensive. How can we be partners if we’re paying twelve dollars a year? I know we can’t contribute what you’ve contributed, but we can contribute much more than you’re asking for, and we want to. We want to invest in this. But we don’t want a handout; we want it to be fair.”

“Life’s not always fair, Montana. So what if once in a while someone comes along and gives you a break? Why not just take it? You’ve been dealt unfair hands before, so if an opportunity arises that’s good—why not just accept it? You’ve earned it, just by breathing. By existing. By being the amazing fucking woman that you are. And I don’t say that lightly, because I dislike most people.”

My jaw was hanging open, and I shook my head. “That is very sweet of you to say. I just want it to be fair, Myles. You’ve also been dealt unfair hands before, and I don’t want to be another person who takes from you.”

He smiled. “I made you something. I wanted to show you what you’re contributing to this partnership.”

He handed me a large square-shaped object that looked like it was maybe a piece of art. I unwrapped it, and my eyes widened as I took in the vision board he’d made. At the top of the board were letters cut out that said The Blushing Bride. And then photos of couples wearing wedding attire and hugging and dancing were plastered all over it. It had photos of the ocean surrounded by mountains, and wedding cakes and flowers. There were words cut out and glued onto the board that said “I do” and “Happily ever after.” The left side of the board had letters running down the length of it that spelled out I Believe in Love.

“What is this?”

“This is why I want to be partners with you. I may not be a believer in the whole concept of marriage and love, but I told you that I have a gift for spotting diamonds in the rough. And you, Montana Kingsley, are the rarest I’ve ever met. Determined and strong. Creative and talented. Everything you touch is better for it. Me included. I am a better man for knowing you.” He cleared his throat, and I sat there gaping at him. Myles wasn’t a man who liked to be vulnerable. So when he gave you a compliment, you knew that he meant it. “I have more money than I know what to do with. This is not a big-budget project for me. But what I know will make it successful is bringing you into it. You will make it everything that wedding dreams are made of. I can’t bring that to the table. I can put the money up front. I can see a piece of land and a building that will go there—but I can’t see this.” He held up the canvas. “This is all you.”

A tear ran down my cheek, and I swiped it away. I moved to sit on his lap, one leg falling on each side so I was straddling him. I stroked his cheek. “Thank you. I’m a better person for knowing you too. And I know that we’ll be going our separate ways, but just know that you have changed me for the better. And when you leave, you’ll be taking a piece of this with you.” I placed his hand on my heart as his beautiful green gaze searched mine.

“If I had a heart to give you, I would give you mine.” He ran his fingers over my cheek.

“You do. You’re the only one who doesn’t know it.”

“So does this mean I’m forgiven?”

“You’re forgiven. I won’t ever be mad at you for being honest with me. But what you said the other night was bitter and jaded. And I understand why you feel the way you do, but it’s important to me that you know who I am. I’m not someone who would be doing what I’m doing if I didn’t believe in it.”

“I know. And I’ve been miserable these last two nights without you.”noveldrama

I sighed. “I have too. But it’s been a reminder of what’s to come. You’re leaving, Myles. We probably won’t even talk once you’re gone. You’ll go back to world domination, and I’ll be here living my best life.” I forced a smile, because the reality of it all was sad.

“What if I come in town and see you every few months? Or you could come visit me in New York sometime. You did put it on your vision board, so you must not hate it.” He smiled.

I shook my head. “I can’t see you a couple times a year. I can’t be a part-time girlfriend to you. I couldn’t stand the thought of sharing you. I know myself too well. And there are things that I want in this life that you can’t give me. And that’s okay. I respect your choices, but I respect mine too. So I can’t be halfway in with you.” Another tear ran down my cheek. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, right here. Right now. But what was the point? That would probably scare the hell out of him. He’d feel guilty that he couldn’t say it back.

“Fuck. How did this get so complicated?” he asked.

“Who’d have thought that night we met that it would turn into so much more? You’ve become my best friend, Myles. And you annoy the hell out of me most of the time, but I’m sad when you’re not around. And that scares me because you’re leaving in a few days.”

“I’ve never known a woman like you.” He shrugged. “I didn’t expect that. I didn’t expect to feel all of these things, and it’s fucking with my head.”

I placed a hand on each side of his face. “I wouldn’t change it, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“If I’d known that night we met that it was going to feel like this—that I was going to completely fall for the arrogant, broody guy at the bar, and that he’d leave a few months later, and it would hurt like hell—I’d still do it. Because you’re worth it.”

He squeezed his eyes closed and found my hand and brought it to his lips. “So what does this mean?”

“It means that my gut tells me we should call this done right now. But my heart wants these last few days with you. So, which one should I listen to?”

His eyes were pleading. “Please give me these last few days, Montana. And if when I leave, you ask me to leave you alone, I’ll respect it. If you can’t have me in your life part time, I’ll fucking respect it. But it’ll kill me. Because I’ll want to know how you’re doing. I’ll want to know that you’re okay.”

“I’ll always be okay, Myles. I’m tougher than I look. I deal diamonds for a living, after all. Those imports and exports are very challenging.”

“All the ports,” he whispered. “Tell me what to do. If you want me to leave, I’ll leave.”

“Let’s enjoy these last few days, and then we’ll agree to part ways. Because I won’t move on if you’re checking in on me every few weeks. I’m not built that way. I-I-I just feel too much, you know? And I’m trying, Myles, I’m trying really hard to keep things light. I need you to understand that when you leave, I can’t do halfway with you. So, let’s call this . . . ‘You, me, and right now.’”

“‘You, me, and right now.’” He nodded. “Yeah. I like the sound of that.”

“Thank you for taking the time to make that vision board. I know it wasn’t your favorite thing, and I’ll save it and hang it out at the ranch as the reason you swayed me to partner up with you.”

“So you’ll sign the contract?”

I sighed. “If you adjust the payment to what I asked for, I’ll sign the contract.”

“Great. We’re fifty-fifty partners. I’ll have Connor make those changes and send it back to you. Charlie will meet with you and Violet and go over the renovations. There’s a healthy budget, so make it everything you want it to be.”

My heart ached at his words. I knew that this was Myles’s way of showing love. He wanted me to have this, because he loved me in his own way.

He didn’t know how to say it.

How to trust himself with it.

But I felt it every time he looked at me.

Myles St. James loved me. But his fear was too overpowering to let himself go there.

“And I’ll deal with Connor on all the business stuff?” I asked.

“Yep. But just know that if you need anything, all you ever have to do is pick up the phone.” His gaze was earnest, and I felt it deep in my soul.

I need him. Nothing more.

“If we’re going to spend these last few days together, let’s not start talking about the end just yet, okay? It’s ‘You, me, and right now.’”

He nodded. “I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“My mom is filing for divorce from my father.”

He wasn’t big on sharing, so this caught me off guard. “What? When did that happen?”

“Samuel told me recently. I’d missed her calls, but I sure as shit had not expected that. And I’ve talked to her a few times since, and she seems happy about it. Like it’s something she’s wanted to do for a long time, but just didn’t know how to do it.”

“I get that. She’s been in a loveless marriage for so long, it’s all she knows.”

He nodded. “My dad is pretty stunned. His world is unraveling, because Samuel has decided to leave medicine and come work with me.”

Now I was gaping at him. “What? We went a few days without speaking, and your brother is no longer going to be a brain surgeon and your mother is leaving your father?”

“Yep. And I’ve wanted to call you a dozen times. I’ve never been like that before, you know?”

“Like what?”

“Where I find something out and I want to tell someone. But I wanted to tell you, Honey Badger.” He scrubbed a hand down his face like it was torture that he wanted to share things with me.

“It’s not a bad thing to confide in people, Myles. To share things that affect you. You are not made of steel. You actually have a working heart. I can feel it,” I teased as my hand moved to his chest and rested there.

“Whoever ends up with you is going to be the luckiest fucking guy on the planet,” he said, shaking his head. “And I already fucking hate him.”

I chuckled. “I feel the same about you.”

His gaze searched mine. “If I were capable of those things, it would be you, Montana. You know that, right?”

I did, actually.

“Yes. And that’s the reason I’m going to let us just enjoy these last few days.”

“You don’t have a wedding this weekend, do you?”

“Nope. We’ve got this next week off, and then we have three weddings back to back.”

“Tell me their hashtags,” he said as he ran his thumb over my bottom lip.

“You know the first one. It’s the bridezilla from hell. Tracy and Bryan Wright. Hashtag ‘marrying Mr. Wright.’ Although I don’t know that this is the right thing for poor Bryan.” I chuckled.

“She’s a piece of work. Who’s next?”

“We have Crystal and Jalen Berry. So obviously, hashtag ‘Berry fond of you.’” I chuckled again as he just smiled at me like I was the most entertaining person he’d ever met. “And then we have Sarah and Wesley Aster, so we went with hashtag ‘happily ever Aster.’”

“Damn, you’re good at these.”

“I’ve had a few years to practice.” I shrugged.

He looked deep in thought. “So let’s enjoy these last few days. We’ve both been working a lot. How about this weekend, you let me take you away somewhere special?”

“Fine. I’m all yours for the next week.”

You, me, and right now.